Barry Bonds Doesn't Like Flying Objects

Barry Bonds, in one of the few moments he wasn't botching pop flies.

5 Things We Learned Today:


1. Barry Bonds is afraid of fly balls.


2. Matt Morris still sucks.


3. Ron is still terrible at trying to lead a caravan.


4. Old ladies shouldn't get tattoos on their upper thigh.


5. They don't make spring training T-shirts like the used to.

Alfonso Soriano is still good.

The outfield ads at Scottsdale Stadium are really classy. And not at all suggestive.

Nope, not suggestive at all.

This kid needed an ass-kicking.

5 People We Learned to Hate Today:

1. The preppy 12-year-old next to us, with the pink shirt with popped collar, pleated shorts, sideways cap and $500 cell phone. He really needed to get his ass kicked, just for general principle.

2. The mom and teenage daughter behind us who bickered about stupid things all game long. Especially the daughter's incessant "text-paging."

3. The old lady with the thigh tat. Eww.

4. The woman who touched Dawn instead of simply saying, "Excuse me" before coming down the row.

5. Woman at the beer cart who was annoyed that they were out of Michelob and gave odd glances at Brandye while she ordered an Anchorsteam.

Alfonso Soriano? He's fast too. But he got thrown out stealing here.

Third row, baby! Too bad we were 350 feet down the line.

Woo! Woo! Woo!

3 Lasting Memories of the Day

1. Finally meeting Woo Woo Guy. He was older than I thought.

2. The horrible crunching sound as the Giants 4th-string second baseman and 5th-string outfielder collided at full speed about 20 feet in front of us. Ouch. Really. Ouch.

3. Cold beer is goooooood after you've been baking in 92-degree heat.